|Talking just to hear myself, I drive a lot.
||[Apr. 6th, 2010|01:19 am]
Silly Snippits from Sunny Leedsworth
I wish I drove a lot. Driving by myself is probably on the list of things I look forward to most when going home.|
Most things that I point out about myself on here are things I say I should work on; ignoring people and emotions seems to be a theme. I think I'm trying to give myself too much credit by saying I can change this. It's more likely that I just need to grow out of it, to some extent.
Being an old man really sounds like fun to me. For some reason, a sense of finality seems like it might be so relaxing. Right now I'm 21 and looking at more possibilities than I know what to do with. It's really overwhelming. I envy the generations before mine, who could be raised in a trade. Like if you were the shoemaker's son, your dad would teach you to make shoes, and then you'd make shoes. That's just not the kind of hand that most people in our generation are dealt anymore. Granted, however, that this is all from a young American middle-classer from the pit of suburban dysfuntionality. On a related note, I really don't dislike the suburbs anymore: sometimes they are very comforting. Families are comforting.
The world is odd.
I'm in the midst of a huge Starflyer 59 bender. It's not that every album is an A+, but none really fall below a B or so to me. I'd say the first five or so albums are more solid than the later ones, but there are certainly from gems from those too. Jason Martin's a huge inspiration for me, he just seems like kind of a freak with good taste in music who can craft really great albums. He's also a truck driver. I like reading about people's lives.
I've been having a vision of myself at 35 or so, kind of overweight, just sitting at a computer with headphones on, chronicling music, mangy and snacking on chips or something. Probably in a not-that-shabby-but-nothing-to-write-home-about apartment somewhere. It's not what I'm aspiring to, by any means, but it's nice to look at a worst-case-scenario glimpse of your future and know that it's not all bad.
That paragraph is ridiculous and pseudo-depressing, but exaggeration helps to put things in perspective sometimes, I think.
Lately people have been surprising me, but in good ways. People are complicated, I'm still learning to never think you've figured them out completely. You know what's odd? Almost all of the most cliche adages you hear are all true. "No pain no gain" - no risk, no reward. "You can't win 'em all." "Life goes on." I hate to admit that these are true, but lo and behold, here we are.