||[Jun. 2nd, 2010|11:09 pm]
Silly Snippits from Sunny Leedsworth
http://gen-madness.livejournal.com/2006/12/01/) and it was over three years ago. But it freaks me out a little that I had completely forgotten that this happened. I had to read the whole thing twice before I remembered it. It makes me want to write things down more often. Maybe I should start a real blog. I probably won't though. Anytime soon, at least.So I'm reading through the days of yore on livejournal instead of writing the paper that I desperately need to be working on, and I found this entry I wrote about the first time I picked up a hitchhiker. It's here (|
I want to make music. It's how I think and it's who I am and it's what I want to do. The adult world, especially where business is involved, scares me, and at this point I don't even feel like I should just toughen up and get into it. I'd rather stay out of it to the extent that I can. It's so soulless and automated: if I were an insurance salesman then I don't think I'd ever be happy again. I'm not trying to say that I'm above all that, because it's important stuff. We are in equal need of both clockwatchers and daydreamers. But I'm not wired for that kind of thing: just making a schedule stresses me out. Since the organized world tends to be run by the people who are motivated to run it, I feel convicted sometimes, and by who or what I do not know, about the fact that I don't want to sell insurance or manage stocks. I think I'm done with that, though: I like the things I'm inclined to do and the way I see things, and no clockwatcher is going to convince me otherwise. Sometimes stubbornness can be really helpful.
That said, I have reason to believe (we all will be received in Graceland) that I will not be wealthy or that successful. But really, mo money, mo problems. I'll take that.
Almost done with school: it is sad and awesome. I don't want to spend long talking about it because it's going to happen anyway, regardless of what I think or say about it.